IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given bar charts indicate how many
people
 who were born in
Australia
 and who were born outside
Australia
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 in 3
areas
 from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
, the
figure
 for
people
 who lived in cities showed an upward trend,
while
 the downward trends were the
figure
 for towns and rural
areas
. In detail, the highest percentage of
people
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
born in
Australia
 was
cities
Correct article usage
the cities
show examples
 category, which started from about 50% in 1995, increasing to around 65% in 2010. The second most popular
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
 was rural
areas
 in 1995, which was at around 30%, decreasing to about 15% over the next 15 years.
Similarly
, the
figure
 for towns was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thrid
Correct your spelling
third
show examples
 rank in 1995, which was 20%. It dropped to about 15% in 2010, which was
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
figure
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
rural
Correct article usage
the rural
show examples
areas
 category.
In contrast
, about 60% of
people
 who were born outside
Australia
 lived in cities in 1995. which was increase significantly to about 80%
for
Change preposition
over
show examples
 15 years. The
figure
 for rural
areas
 started from 40%, which
was decrease
Change the verb form
decreased
show examples
 dramatically to
aroung
Correct your spelling
around
 5% between 1995 and 2010. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
towns
Correct article usage
the towns
show examples
 category, approximately 30% o
Submitted by yoohj0802 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, areas, figure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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