As well as making money, businesses also have a responsibilty towards society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
Linking Words
modern era, multinational
companies
Use synonyms
make
a huge profits
Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge profit
huge profits
show examples
throughout
Change preposition
through
show examples
globalization. As many people
says
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say
show examples
that
businesses
Use synonyms
should be a big responsibility to
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
their up and downs for society.
However
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
support
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supports
show examples
the economic status of
country
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the country
a country
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. I agree with the statement that big
companies
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play a significant role for
public
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the public
show examples
. First and foremost, small
businesses
Use synonyms
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
dependent on multinational firms. Because it provides every resource to them by selling and buying products from other nations .
Thus
Linking Words
, nowadays
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stoke marking
also
Linking Words
turn on with the help of big corporations.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
major responsibility
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
corporate houses. They can invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
them ,so these things create a positive imbalance between
Add an article
the community
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community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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. For , example, an Indian billionaire Mukesh Ambani
spended
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spend
tremendous
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a tremendous
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amount of money on
environment
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the environment
show examples
to maintain the ecosystem. As
,
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apply
show examples
it is important for
companies
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of took
fund
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funds
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
positive
Add an article
the positive
show examples
brand
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brands
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so small every stage of
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
should
shown
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show
be shown
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their talent or skills. Moving
further
Linking Words
, economic development
is depend
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depends
show examples
on business firms .
Although
Linking Words
, more and more people working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
small
companies
Use synonyms
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
powered by big corporate houses they need to provide sufficient salaries and benefits for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society so they can grow easily.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
businesses
Use synonyms
should focus on various vital factors,for , instance, in education, medical and commercial sectors these all opportunities are useful for
businesses
Use synonyms
responsibility so that it public
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more convenient through it. In conclusion, making only money is not suitable for industries Because there are numerous aspects which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
only done by big organisations for society.
Submitted by Jimmydehal090 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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