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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Many High Street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?

#street #shops #business #years #development
mostly people argue that high avenue stores make losses in their commerce.the reason behind the loss is the higher pricing of products compared to the local
market
.
this
 trend has both negative and positive results which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to mention below. There are several reasons why the loss of the
street
market
 has a positive impact.
In a
Change preposition
A
show examples
 particular
low sale
Add a hyphen
low-sale
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
street
Add an article
the street
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market
 gives benefits to the local
market
.,
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 high
street
 shops not only help to buy goods at a lesser price but
also
 provide greater varieties which
aids
Change the verb form
aid
show examples
 people to buy a product
according to
 their budget.
for example
 in a survey a conclusion comes up which shows most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people are unable to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shop in High
street
 shops because they charge extra .
thus
 due loss-making we might see increase in a local
market
. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the above arguments.I believe that there are some points to show negative development.
Firstly
,there are significant high society individuals ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 want extra ambience
as well as
 a plethora of amenities and which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 unable to find at local markets.
secondly
,the quality offered in the high
street
 shops and
thus
 local
market
 goods are insufficient to compete with. In conclusion.
although
 you might save money at the local
market
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
their products and services are unable to compete with high avenue stores
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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