IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As well as making money, businesses also have a responsibilty towards society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilty #society
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Some
people
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 say
money
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 can not buy happiness but
with
Correct pronoun usage
itwith
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 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
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 you can buy many things that make you happy.
Businesses
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 should not just look to only make
money
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 but serve
society
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 in any way.I think is important that business should help
society
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 to evolve and grow
instead
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 of just creating wealth.
Businesses
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 can do wonders if they try to help
society
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.
Businesses
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 have wealth,connection and power if they want they can help
society
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 easily without making too much effort and harming their business.
For instance
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,In ,Pakistan one company align their advertisement with breast cancer just from that advertisement many rural areas women got aware of breast cancer.What that just did was align their promotion campaign with breast cancer and what they contributed towards
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a
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society
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 without making a lot of effort.
Businesses
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 help
society
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 in many ways if they just try to create wealth ethically and morally correct way.
while
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 creating healthy
businesses
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 can help
society
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 by giving jobs to
people
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.if any business set up a factory near a
village
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then
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 what will happen is the
people
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 of that
village
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 get the opportunity to get work in or with a factory- and the factory needs workers
people
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 of that
village
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 and nearby areas will have the best chance to get jobs and earn their bread even though factory will earn too.,Meanwhile
while
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 there would be many small
businesses
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 in the
village
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 so that they can work with factories can grow them from that service or product.
To sum up
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,if
businesses
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 want to make
money
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 for a long they will indirectly serve
society
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 without losing any penny from their pocket they just need to be fair and responsible towards
society
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.
Submitted by adarshghai6 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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