IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 table shows the underground railways in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the date opened, how long
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the route was, and
also
Linking Words
 passengers per year in 6 cities, which are
London
Use synonyms
, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles.
According to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 table,
London
Use synonyms
 has got the oldest and yet, longest distance course of
underground
Add an article
the underground
an underground
show examples
 rail system. Paris has the second longest track , and Tokyo has the most crowded fence, even though they only have half
long
Replace the word
length
show examples
 of the line distance of
London
Use synonyms
. in 1976, Washington DC, it is made 29
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 shorter
length
Change preposition
in length
show examples
 than Tokyo.
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 it reduces about 10 times fewer people on the rails.
Although
Linking Words
, the shortest and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quietest city is Kyto. Let's point out the newest underground fence, it is Los Angeles in 2001 ,which is 17
killometers
Correct your spelling
kilometres
 longer and
5
Add a missing verb
has 5
show examples
more people than Kyoto. the avenue of the underground rail getting shorter until 1981.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
London
Use synonyms
 has the oldest history of
underground
Add an article
the underground
an underground
show examples
pole
Fix the agreement mistake
poles
show examples
 and the longest line in 6 cities.
Also
Linking Words
,it gets longer distances from 1990 to 1927.
however
Linking Words
, since 1976, it has been started making less length than before for some reasons.
as a result
Linking Words
 ,it has got mostly fewer passengers per year.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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