IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Wealth does not necessarily guarantee happiness. To whant extent do you agree with this statement

#wealth #guarantee #happiness #whant
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Money
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 is an important aspect of
people
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's
lives
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. There is a general belief that being wealthy doesn't necessarily mean being happy.
Although
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money
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 can improve
people
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's
lives
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, I believe that
people
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 who are not rich have equally happy
lives
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 and
money
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 is not determining factor for one's happiness.
To begin
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 with, wealthy
people
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 often lead unhappy
lives
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. To become successful and wealthy, they often work long hours, which leads to stress and depression.
Moreover
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, they spend very little or no time with their loved ones and socialising with friends which
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
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 relationships and results in lonely and unhappy
lives
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.
Secondly
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, many
people
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 who are not wealthy often are happier. They find happiness in small things
such
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 as spending quality time with their family and friends or, doing their favourite hobbies.
However
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, admittedly,
money
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 plays an important role in
people
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's
lives
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 .Having enough
money
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 reduces the stress of constantly trying to figure out how to meet ends.
Moreover
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,
People
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 can afford to work less and retire earlier.
To conclude
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,
money
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 is an important aspect of
people
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's
lives
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.
However
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, it is believed by many that wealth is not an important factor in being happy.
Although
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 it is important to have enough
money
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 to support ourselves and others around us I believe, that happiness can be found in the simple things we do .Doing which doesn't require us to be wealthy.
Submitted by  Niamh Gal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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