IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that schools are no longer necessary, because students can get so much information through the Internet, and study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #students #information #internet #study #home
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A section of society is of the opinion that institutions will not be relevant ,because students can get data online and in their homes.I totally disagree because tutors are significant.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain in detail the reasons for my stance
as well as
Linking Words
 examples in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,the most compelling reason is educators are important.There is a lot of information on the internet and
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 will find it difficult to know the right learning material to use.Tutors have been trained and they know the best books which are good for their students to use to pass with flying colours.
For instance
Linking Words
,during my training college days ,our educators
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 us a list of the best books to buy which aided me to pass my license exams.
Although
Linking Words
 the internet has a lot of information,it is difficult to find the right books.
Secondly
Linking Words
,another reason for opposing
this
Linking Words
 view is technical challenges.
there
Capitalize word
There
show examples
 are residents who stay in the countryside without the use of electricity.These computers operate with it ,so individuals there will find it difficult to learn on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is where school becomes significant for tutors to teach pupils to become professionals in society.
For example
Linking Words
 ,in my hometown ,there is no electricity so the citizens will find it difficult to learn once there are no schools available.Government should not rely on technology alone for learning so that
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 people will benefit.
Besides
Linking Words
,it helps them to build social skills.Individuals who learn in a classroom communicate with each other to build interpersonal skills and
also
Linking Words
 do assignments in groups which will help them later in life at their workplace.
This
Linking Words
 will result in good communication with their colleagues and aid in teamwork when they start working. In conclusion,the essay
argued
Wrong verb form
argues
show examples
 that institutions are important.Instructors are good sources of information and technical difficulties are the two main reasons I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view.
Submitted by yahayasonde2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the development of ideas follows a logical order. Focus on maintaining coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the question prompt and provide a clear and comprehensive response. Use relevant examples and ensure that your ideas are well-supported and developed.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: