IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart compares four different kinds of places visited by
Canadians
Use synonyms
 , English and other nations people who reside in
Canada
Use synonyms
. In general , cinemas was the place that most
Canadians
Use synonyms
 and English
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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visited .
Whereas
Linking Words
 , for other nation people it was the library . To be specific , cinemas was the likely place that most
Canadians
Use synonyms
 and English-speaking people visited in
Canada
Use synonyms
 and they accounted for 70% and 65% .
While
Linking Words
 for migrants born in other nations , it was only 50% .
Whereas
Linking Words
 , the library was the site where most citizens from other nations visited more and it constituted 55% .
while
Linking Words
 other two groups contained only 38% and 40% respectively .
By contrast
Linking Words
 , visitors to zoos in
Canada
Use synonyms
 reported half for English , 43% for
Canadians
Use synonyms
 and 35% for other nation's citizens in
Canada
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
 , the theatre was the spot that had the least number of visitors in all three groups and it made up 10% , 20% and 25% respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canadians, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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