Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it is negative for children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #people

Public concern has

arised

Correct your spelling

arisen

raised

about whether the large amount of advertising which is aimed at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

has a negative impact on them and should be banned. I tend to believe that

this

issue is very important for fewer parents.

However

, to

acknoledge

Correct your spelling

acknowledge

and evaluate

this

problem I will discuss

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

negative sides of

Replace the word

advertising

show examples

and whether the adverts directed to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

kids

should be banned. First of all,

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

effective and important tool in

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

world. Almost every company, business or

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

service provider will have their advertising translated on TV, radio,

boards and etc. These

videos or papers are seen by everyone

as well

Change preposition

including

show examples

children

Therefore

children

are introduced to new interesting toys, games and etc. That leads the

kids

to persuade their parents to buy them one. Which increases the usage of toys. That leads to the manufacturer supplying

bigger

Add an article

a bigger

show examples

number of objects for

children

Therefore

, that pushes the world even faster toward

global

Correct article usage

the global

show examples

warming problem.

Secondly

, the advertisements for

kids

introduce them to all

brand new

Add a hyphen

brand-new

show examples

toys. Which usually has an impact on

childrens

Change to a genitive case

children's

show examples

imagination.

This

is specifically when young

children

are introduced to

video

games. The

Change preposition

for

show examples

video

games are fascinating and involving.

Therefore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

get obsessed with the need

Change preposition

for

show examples

video

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

. The

video

game generally

interest

Change the verb form

interests

show examples

the child so much that he stops thinking and dives into the

video

game world which shapes his mind. It provides

children

with very interesting material which blocks young

kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

show examples

imagination

Fix the agreement mistake

imaginations

show examples

. My conclusion would be that the huge amount of

that is

aimed at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

should be limited- not banned. Some new rules should be created on how to reach and translate the

to the young audience. The parents them-self should be more responsible

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

that their

children

sees

Change the verb form

see

show examples

and how to deal with their young

kids

when they desperately start to need a new toy after seeing an

Submitted by oimigle on Thu Feb 23 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it is negative for children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

In some cultures, children are encouraged to compete against each other. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.