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Writing Samples
Band 7

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT HAVING A SET RETIREMENT AGE (EG 65 YEARS) FOR EVERYBODY, REGARDLESS OF OCCUPATION, IS UNFAIR. THEY BELIEVE THAT A CERTAIN WORKERS DESERVE TO RETIRE AND RECEIVE A PENSION AT AN EARLIER AGE. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? WHICH TYPE OF WORKERS DO YOU THINK SHOULD BENEFIT FROM EARLY RETIREMENT?

#people #retirement #age #eg #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit
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A large number of
people
Use synonyms
 these days, retire over 65 years because they remain a good performance working.
While
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 some individuals think that it is unfair for them, retirement time should be determined by personality. I totally agree with
this
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 statement for many reasons, described in the following paragraphs before the conclusion is reached. An initial of my perspective ideal is that
people
Use synonyms
 have the right to design their life , they should have more chances to do another occupation or anything that they are interested in, so a pension will be allowed for it. If an elder takes responsibility as a civil servant for long-lasting and always thinks about being a business owner,he is able to change to another occupation needed by earlier retirement and obtain a pension.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should have more occupational choices committed to living. An additional idea is that it is undeniable that living is not durable, just over 20,000 days is the average day of lifetime date of a common person, and some individuals are too old and unhealthy at the age of 65 years. Most of their life dates are contributed to working hard or utilising society.
For instance
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, Mahidol university shows research about the average age that
people
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 are able to live by themself with full performance is 63 years old.
Thus
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, older
people
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 who do not attend to do work should be allowed to retire respected by their reasons. In conclusion, it is fair for
people
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 if they are able to choose
due to
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 personal demands ,earlier retirement and accept a pension. Not only following their dream but
also
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 spending live time in happiness.
Submitted by k.kamonkan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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