some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time

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Some individuals argue that parents should support young adults to participate in group

activities

Use synonyms

in their leisure time

while

Linking Words

other people oppose

this

Linking Words

view and want

children

Use synonyms

to learn

while

Linking Words

staying on their own.

However

Linking Words

, I agree with the view of participants in groups and

this

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essay will discuss the possible reasons for both views .

To begin

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with, parents want their

children

Use synonyms

to get comfortable with their surroundings. And,the only way to develop

this

Linking Words

habit is to encourage their young ones to actively participate in teams, owing to

this

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

activities

Use synonyms

not only help to become sociable but

also

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foster physical and mental growth.

For example

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, playing football together helps peers to perform well in a team.

Besides

Linking Words

this

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, certain

activities

Use synonyms

like doing theatre with other artists benefit individuals to sharpen their conservation skills.

On the contrary

Linking Words

side, some people do not agree with the view and want their

children

Use synonyms

to learn things on their own rather than in groups. The primary reason behind

this

Linking Words

perspective is that they do not want their kids to get suffer from depression. As, in groups, competitions between young peers lead to some stressful situations and often seen that

children

Use synonyms

get easily frustrated with their family members as well.

Moreover

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, these events can have a huge impact on mental health. The survey conducted by a health organisation states that around 57 per cent of young ones developed jealousy and frustration towards their fellow mates because of competition between them.

To conclude

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although

Linking Words

participating in group

activities

Use synonyms

can lead to competitive nature between mates, one can easily become

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sociable person and

also

Linking Words

develop communication skills.

Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on Sat Feb 25 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
explore
discover

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some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today more and more people want things instanly. Why is this ? Is it positive or negative development ?

Every year several Ianuages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Many countries are struggling with increases in crime rates and some think that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?