Counties with long working days are more successful economically, but there are some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Working hard can make a
person
financially stable .
However
, some argue that working for a long time can have some negative impact on individuals and I
also
agree that engaging in a job for long hours can definitely create some social problems in
people
. But I
also
believe that it helps them to fulfil their dreams . On the one hand , working overtime can create some
issues
in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
individual's physical and social
life
. We can see that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
today most
people
are working continuously for a long day , and they don't have the time to discuss problems in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
families or spend time with their loved ones because of it and
as a result
, they are having
issues
with their families and friends , eventually , leading to big
issues
like divorce and stress
issues
.
For example
, in metropolitan countries like The USA , stress
issues
and divorce rates are much higher compared to other countries and the findings revealed that
this
is mostly
due to
work pressure between
people
.
On the other hand
, having a successful economy can
also
make a
person
happier in
life
and they can
also
use the money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
leisure activities . It is obvious that everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
an ambition in their
life
,
therefore
, working hard for that can help
a individuals
Correct the article-noun agreement
individuals
an individual
show examples
to achieve that
dream
and
as a result
, they can
be enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoy
show examples
their
life
.
For instance
, if a
person
's
dream
is to live in a mansion that the individuals
dream
of
then
he had to work day and night to achy that goal so that , they can be successful in their
life
.
To conclude
,
it is clear that
working overtime can have a serious effect on
people
's social
life
. But , I
also
assume that working hard
also
can a
person
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
achieve his
dream
and be successful.
Submitted by varshajose345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: