Counties with long working days are more successful economically, but there are some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#counties #consequences

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Working hard can make a

person

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financially stable .

However

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, some argue that working for a long time can have some negative impact on individuals and I

also

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agree that engaging in a job for long hours can definitely create some social problems in

people

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. But I

also

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believe that it helps them to fulfil their dreams . On the one hand , working overtime can create some

issues

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Change the article

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individual's physical and social

life

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. We can see that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

today most

people

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are working continuously for a long day , and they don't have the time to discuss problems in

the

Change the word

their

show examples

families or spend time with their loved ones because of it and

as a result

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, they are having

issues

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with their families and friends , eventually , leading to big

issues

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like divorce and stress

issues

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For example

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, in metropolitan countries like The USA , stress

issues

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and divorce rates are much higher compared to other countries and the findings revealed that

this

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is mostly

due to

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work pressure between

people

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On the other hand

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, having a successful economy can

also

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make a

person

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happier in

life

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and they can

also

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use the money

Change preposition

for

show examples

leisure activities . It is obvious that everyone

have

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has

show examples

an ambition in their

life

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therefore

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, working hard for that can help

a individuals

Correct the article-noun agreement

individuals

an individual

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to achieve that

dream

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and

as a result

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, they can

be enjoy

Change the verb form

enjoy

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their

life

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For instance

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, if a

person

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dream

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is to live in a mansion that the individuals

dream

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then

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he had to work day and night to achy that goal so that , they can be successful in their

life

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To conclude

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it is clear that

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working overtime can have a serious effect on

people

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's social

life

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. But , I

also

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assume that working hard

also

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can a

person

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Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

achieve his

dream

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and be successful.

Submitted by varshajose345 on Sat Feb 25 2023

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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Counties with long working days are more successful economically, but there are some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What are the main reasons and solutions for re-offend?

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent researching other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foregin language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advanantages of this outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include some relevant examples.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for vary fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.