Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific world, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #world #business

Nowadays, data transformation is speeding up around the globe

due to

the development of technology.

Although

some people believe that new

ideas

and information in both business and academic careers should be transformed freely, some others think these

ideas

should only be shared by paying its cost. Meanwhile, I stand with the second point of view. In

this

essay, both points of view will be discussed in detail. On the one hand, the ultimate goal of the human being is to prepare

comfortable

Correct article usage

a comfortable

show examples

life for all individuals. Technology and modern business are the most valuable

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

to reach

this

purpose.

Nevertheless

this

goal only could be

happened

Verb problem

achieved

show examples

by sharing new scientific methods freely.

For example

, in my master's study, I and my supervisor worked on a method for robot trajectory tracking, developed by a Chinese researcher.

finally

, our conducted

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

us to reach a 20 per cent improvement in his method.

It is clear that

this

improvement could happen only because of the free sharing of scientific information.

On the other hand

, we know all new

ideas

have high value in the academic environment.

Also

, The cost of these works is one of the most important reasons that individuals conduct new research and develop new methods.

For instance

, in the scientific world, articles are published in

journals

In addition

, these

journals

sell the articles to students who want to work on these papers and the main source of these

journals

' expenditures is made in

this

way. Can you imagine a world without publishers and

journals

? In conclusion, new eras and new

technologic

Replace the word

technological

show examples

features made our lifestyle different, in many aspects

such

as science and business. Some communities think in

this

era,

ideas

should be shared freely.

However

, I believe

this

way of thinking could be very destructive for our globe since the value and credit of new works would be forgotten.

Submitted by javadasghari.uut on Sat Feb 25 2023

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Coherence and cohesion

Ensure a clearer presentation of ideas and arguments in the introduction and conclusion.

Task achievement

Provide a more balanced view of both positions and address the prompt more directly in the introduction and conclusion.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific world, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

What are the pros and cons of using public transport

It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. .