IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people feel that success lies in achieving professional and economic targets, while others say that success lies in spending quality time with family and friends. What is your opinion?

#people #success #targets #quality #time #friends
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era,
while
Linking Words
 there is an ongoing debate with compelling reasons about feeling
success
Use synonyms
 lies in achieving professional or
spinding
Correct your spelling
spending
quality
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 with family it leads to intriguing arguments and broadens
Correct article usage
a persion's
show examples
persion's
Correct your spelling
person's
 horizon. I totally agreed that
spinding
Correct your spelling
spending
quality
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 with family and
frinds ia
Correct your spelling
friends is
 a real
success
Use synonyms
, and I am going to put forth my idea in
this
Linking Words
 essay. At the
out set
Correct your spelling
outset
show examples
, one of the key factors in my point of view is
Correct word choice
that spinding
show examples
spinding
Correct your spelling
spending
quality
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 with family gives us more happiness and comfortable after work hours.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it must be pointed out that it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 all family happy not only one
persion
Correct your spelling
person
, and it would
also
Linking Words
 make
bridge
Add an article
a bridge
the bridge
show examples
 between parents and kids.
Forinstance
Correct your spelling
For instance
, a recent
artecle
Correct your spelling
article
 published
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Scientific American
reveald
Correct your spelling
revealed
reveals
 that families which spend more
quality
Use synonyms
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 together have good health because
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 stress and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
break after work times.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the discourse proved that
spinding
Correct your spelling
spending
quality
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 with family is a good way to
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 in life.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I hold the conclusive proof, which has been
out lined
Correct your spelling
outlined
show examples
 above, that supports my thoughts on
spinding
Correct your spelling
spending
quality
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 with family is the real
success
Use synonyms
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
achieving professional and economic targets, and
hence
Linking Words
 I strongly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
familly
Correct your spelling
family
time
Use synonyms
 is the best
time
Use synonyms
 in the day because the happiness I feel in
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 daily.
Submitted by nouhrasha224 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: