Some people feel that success lies in achieving professional and economic targets, while others say that success lies in spending quality time with family and friends. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there is an ongoing debate with compelling reasons about feeling
success
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

lies in achieving professional or
spinding
Correct your spelling
spending

If you don’t want spinding to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

quality
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with family it leads to intriguing arguments and broadens
Correct article usage
a persion's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
persion's
Correct your spelling
person's

If you don’t want persion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

horizon. I totally agreed that
spinding
Correct your spelling
spending

If you don’t want spinding to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

quality
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with family and
frinds ia
Correct your spelling
friends is

The words frinds ia seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

a real
success
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and I am going to put forth my idea in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay. At the
out set
Correct your spelling
outset

The word out set seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
, one of the key factors in my point of view is
Correct word choice
that spinding
show examples
Correct word choice
that spinding

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
spinding
Correct your spelling
spending
quality
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with family gives us more happiness and comfortable after work hours.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it must be pointed out that it
make
Change the verb form
makes

The verb make does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
all family happy not only one
persion
Correct your spelling
person

If you don’t want persion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, and it would
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

make
bridge
Add an article
a bridge
the bridge

The noun phrase bridge seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
between parents and kids.
Forinstance
Correct your spelling
For instance

If you don’t want Forinstance to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, a recent
artecle
Correct your spelling
article

If you don’t want artecle to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

published
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Scientific American
reveald
Correct your spelling
revealed
reveals

If you don’t want reveald to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that families which spend more
quality
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

times
Fix the agreement mistake
time

It seems that times may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
together have good health because
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

reduce
Change the verb form
reduces

The plural verb reduce does not appear to agree with the singular subject this time. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
stress and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives

It seems that the verb give does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
break after work times.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the discourse proved that
spinding
Correct your spelling
spending

If you don’t want spinding to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

quality
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with family is a good way to
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
succeed

The word success doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
in life.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I hold the conclusive proof, which has been
out lined
Correct your spelling
outlined

The word out lined seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
above, that supports my thoughts on
spinding
Correct your spelling
spending

If you don’t want spinding to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

quality
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with family is the real
success
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

not
Add the comma(s)
,not

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the negative appositive not the achieving professional and economic targets. Consider adding the comma(s).

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
achieving professional and economic targets, and
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

I strongly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
that
familly
Correct your spelling
family

If you don’t want familly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is the best
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the day because the happiness I feel in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

daily.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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