IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion about ths?

#people #home #workplace #place #ths
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is commonly believed that an organized and clean place helps people manage their
time
Use synonyms
 more efficiently, but there
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
counter argument
Add a hyphen
counter-argument
show examples
exists
Correct pronoun usage
that exists
show examples
 as well that it may
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
 in
over consciousness
Add a hyphen
over-consciousness
show examples
,
thus
Linking Words
, may
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 mental health.
However
Linking Words
, I would support the first view and discuss both views in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On one hand, a well-managed workplace helps someone with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 management. A person may avoid
time
Use synonyms
 wasters when he finds things easily when needed,
also
Linking Words
, the human brain works more peacefully and
effeciently
Correct your spelling
efficiently
 when there is no mess around,
therefore
Linking Words
, anxiety is reduced.
For example
Linking Words
, A professor of an
Amercian
Correct your spelling
American
 university
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 published his
researsch
Correct your spelling
research
 work in which he demonstrated that a mess gives
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 signal to the human brain and produces anxiety, in response to which it comes in the state to combat pressure and,
thus
Linking Words
,
lose
Correct subject-verb agreement
loses
show examples
 focus towards other activities. On other hand, it's commonly observed that being too
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
desciplined
Correct your spelling
disciplined
discipline
 makes a person
over conscious
Add a hyphen
over-conscious
show examples
, which disturbs hormones.
Hence
Linking Words
, his body feels
tensed
Replace the word
tense
show examples
 and unrest.
This
Linking Words
 unrest condition of the body may
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 mental and physical health, and productivity for the reason that he is giving
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more
time
Use synonyms
 in managing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things in order and is unable to achieve desired goals effectively.
For instance
Linking Words
, my aunt went into
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 state of depression, as she was mad about cleaning the home. Doctors suggested
her
Correct pronoun usage
she
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
fight
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 habit and give herself some
time
Use synonyms
 to relax by ignoring the litter around. After 4 months of therapy, she came out of
this
Linking Words
 by
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace in the disorganized living place.
To conclude
Linking Words
, tidy living and workplaces are good as it saves
time
Use synonyms
 and gives peace to the mind
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but may become dangerous when
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
perfection is tried to achieve because it consumes too much energy. A little ignorance
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 good to counter the damage.
Submitted by arsalanfarooqned on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: