The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.

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This

Linking Words

line graph depicts the ratio of unemployed people in two countries the United

States

Use synonyms

and Japan from 1993 to 1999 it is clear from the graph that there was a contradiction in the rates between the two nations

according to

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what is shown united

states

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had seven per cent of their workforce unemployed at the beginning of March 1993

then

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the unemployment rate in the United

States

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began declining sharply since March 1993 and reached the 5.5% mark in the middle of 1995 when it remained roughly the same for one more year after ,that the percentage of the unemployed workforce in the United

States

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dropped slightly to about 4%

at the end

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of the period meanwhile, the percentage of the unemployed workforce in Japan grew gradually from 2.2 per cent to 3.5 per cent in the first three years

whereas

Linking Words

it fluctuated for the next two at about the same figure by the end of ,1999 the unemployment rate in Japan reached its peak at 4.5% which was a larger proportion than the US

t0t0878Sun Feb 26 2023

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words states with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

176 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Unemployment rate
Trend
Comparison
Period
Sharp increase/decrease
Correlation
Economic policies
Technological advancements
Global economic conditions
Consumer spending
Social welfare
Public sentiment
Predictions
Economic strategies

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The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. What is the cause? What can be done to deal with this.

The most important aim of scence should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many parts of world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. what are the causes? how should these young criminals to be punished?

News media is important in our society. Why is it so important? Do you think its influence is generally positive or negative?

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?