IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
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People
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 have different views about whether providing personal
information
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 helps screen applicants’ resumes.
While
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 certain
information
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 may be useful in
this
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 process, I believe
people
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 should have the right to refuse to provide some personal status. On the one hand, it may be rational to argue that
employers
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 find certain aspects of the applicants’ personal lives relevant to their professional performance. The most important reason is that companies decide who is the candidate most appropriate for the vacancy based on a combination of factors, which include not only his or her professional competency
,
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apply
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 but
also
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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personality,
such
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 as whether
this
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 is a team player or a
trouble maker
Correct your spelling
troublemaker
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. As a matter of fact, personal
information
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such
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 as leisure activities may provide some clues.
For example
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,
people
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 who enjoy group sports may have a better chance to be a nice team player.
On the other hand
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, not all personal
information
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 is related to work, and I believe
this
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 type of
information
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 should be kept
as
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apply
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privacy
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private
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of
Change preposition
for
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 the applicants. Marriage status is one good example of
the
Correct article usage
a
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 personal status that should be confidential to
employers
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, simply because it usually does not matter at work. Firms have the freedom to choose anyone they consider suitable, for any reason, but it would be wrong to make decisions only based on whether the applicant is married or single.
Furthermore
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, notifying irrelevant
information
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 to
employers
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 may
also
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 lead to discrimination against
certain
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a certain
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group
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groups
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 of
people
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,
such
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 as specific religious groups. In conclusion, it is my belief that it is reasonable for
employers
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 to ask for personal
information
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 as long as it has
connection
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a connection
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 to working performance, but other
information
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 should be respected and protected as
privacy
Replace the word
private
show examples
.
Submitted by allanhhb on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
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