It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#proportion #people #countries #future #development

It is expected that in the coming times, a lot of nations will have a lesser number of young populations as compared to the age group.

This

essay will shed some light on the positive and negative impacts of

this

prospect. In terms of the global population, we have doubled in the past 50 years. There has been a rapid growth in the birth rate,

on the other hand

, the death rate has not seen any significant rise. Apart from that, in order to control the growing count, many countries have put a ban on having more than one or two children.

For instance

, a few years ago, China banned its residents

to have

Change preposition

from having

show examples

more than one baby,

additionally

, there was a fine

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

if someone

does

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

not bind to the rule.

However

, after a decade, the Chinese government realised that their citizens are ageing and the maximum of them are beyond 45 years

Correct word choice

old.

show examples

Consequently

, China will have a higher proportion of older manpower than younger ones. Without any doubt, it will affect productivity, army recruitment and other services.

Furthermore

, they have now removed

this

law and now promoting having more children in a family.

Moreover

, overpopulation can have a large number of adverse effects on the country and the planet. On top of that, resources will be consumed more, lands will be acquired more, jobs will be required more, health facilities will be needed more etc.

On the contrary

, there are some benefits of having more mature men and women,

for example

, higher age means more experience and practice. Older ones are not only experienced but

also

have a large practice in performing jobs which require ages of expertise.

Likewise

, certain professionals like leaders, doctors, judges, advisors and many others alike ask for a rich experience in making sensitive decisions. Undoubtedly, when there are

such

members in your team any country can lead successfully.

Although

, we cannot overlook the disadvantages of a lower number of warm blood.

Lastly

, considering both the positive and negative impacts of emerging senior citizens in any community can be beneficial,

on the contrary

, it can be challenging too.

Therefore

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

should be a balance between juveniles and adult residents.

Submitted by Varun Papneja on Mon Feb 27 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses the question prompt and develops a clear position. Include relevant examples and maintain a balanced approach when discussing the positive and negative impacts of the aging population.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but there are instances where the flow of ideas is disrupted. Ensure that each paragraph relates to the main topic and that there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

365 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages.

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.