It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#proportion #people #countries #future #development

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It is expected that in the coming times, a lot of nations will have a lesser number of young populations as compared to the age group.

This

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essay will shed some light on the positive and negative impacts of

this

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prospect. In terms of the global population, we have doubled in the past 50 years. There has been a rapid growth in the birth rate,

on the other hand

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, the death rate has not seen any significant rise. Apart from that, in order to control the growing count, many countries have put a ban on having more than one or two children.

For instance

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, a few years ago, China banned its residents

to have

Change preposition

from having

show examples

more than one baby,

additionally

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, there was a fine

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also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

if someone

does

Wrong verb form

did

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not bind to the rule.

However

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, after a decade, the Chinese government realised that their citizens are ageing and the maximum of them are beyond 45 years

Correct word choice

old.

show examples

Consequently

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, China will have a higher proportion of older manpower than younger ones. Without any doubt, it will affect productivity, army recruitment and other services.

Furthermore

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, they have now removed

this

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law and now promoting having more children in a family.

Moreover

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, overpopulation can have a large number of adverse effects on the country and the planet. On top of that, resources will be consumed more, lands will be acquired more, jobs will be required more, health facilities will be needed more etc.

On the contrary

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, there are some benefits of having more mature men and women,

for example

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, higher age means more experience and practice. Older ones are not only experienced but

also

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have a large practice in performing jobs which require ages of expertise.

Likewise

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, certain professionals like leaders, doctors, judges, advisors and many others alike ask for a rich experience in making sensitive decisions. Undoubtedly, when there are

such

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members in your team any country can lead successfully.

Although

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, we cannot overlook the disadvantages of a lower number of warm blood.

Lastly

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, considering both the positive and negative impacts of emerging senior citizens in any community can be beneficial,

on the contrary

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, it can be challenging too.

Therefore

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Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

should be a balance between juveniles and adult residents.

Submitted by Varun Papneja on Mon Feb 27 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses the question prompt and develops a clear position. Include relevant examples and maintain a balanced approach when discussing the positive and negative impacts of the aging population.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but there are instances where the flow of ideas is disrupted. Ensure that each paragraph relates to the main topic and that there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

365 words

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It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more" advantages or more disadvantages?

In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?

Some people say that what children watch on television influences their behavior, while others say the amount of time spend watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?