IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

How should we ensure that television is a positive influence in the life of childre n?

#television #influence #life #childre #n
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, television plays an unchangeable role in the daily life of people in the modern world.
However
Linking Words
, it is contended that
this
Linking Words
 high-tech device would affect negatively
behaviour
Correct article usage
the behaviour
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 the ideology of
children
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will suggest some measures to evade
pitfalls
Correct article usage
the pitfalls
show examples
 of television and uphold the advantages of informative
programmes
Use synonyms
 on
TV
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
 the booming of
information
Use synonyms
 technology recently, more and more
TV
Use synonyms
 products go viral with an aim at entertaining every group of people.
For example
Linking Words
, the elderly and the middle-aged are in favour of politics, economics or health
programmes
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 teenagers prefer music and
TV
Use synonyms
 shows.
As a result
Linking Words
, it will be very dangerous for
children
Use synonyms
 who are so vulnerable if getting exposed to inappropriate
information
Use synonyms
 on
TV
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early age. In that case, censorship should be highly recommended in order to shift sensitive imagines,
voice
Fix the agreement mistake
voices
show examples
, and
information
Use synonyms
 or even abolish the whole
TV
Use synonyms
 products within the active time of
children
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to providing much more knowledge for
children
Use synonyms
, producers could offer some particular pacts of channels for
children
Use synonyms
 which include
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
show examples
, basic scientific
information
Use synonyms
, and suitable music. If so, these solutions will help parents to easily manage available
programmes
Use synonyms
 for
children
Use synonyms
 and prevent entirely
children
Use synonyms
 from watching bloody scenes or sensitive
plot
Fix the agreement mistake
plots
show examples
 which could shape their thinking from childhood.
Although
Linking Words
 some people argue that
this
Linking Words
 recommendation will handicap
children
Use synonyms
’s freedom of exploring the world through
TV
Use synonyms
 which is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a very informative source, it is the best solution we can do to protect
children
Use synonyms
 from a large amount of irrelevant
information
Use synonyms
 published every day. In conclusion, the producers should guarantee that all their
programmes
Use synonyms
 have been come through censorship and
publish
Wrong verb form
published
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 suitable time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a pact of channels for
children
Use synonyms
 should be taken into account to help parents keep
programmes
Use synonyms
 under supervision.
Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: