These days in some countries an increasing number of young adults are choosing their whole weekands inside homes. Why do you think it is happening ? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #adults #weekands #homes #development

There is no denying the fact that the main impact of technology is arguable.

While

it is a commonly held belief that with the advancement of automation, teenagers have become isolated and have spent the weekends at their apartments.

This

essay will

shade

Verb problem

shed

show examples

light upon the reasons for

such

acts and will show my opinion. With

increasing

Add an article

the increasing

show examples

use of machinery, juveniles may depend on automation gadgets

such

as phones and pads more than

any

Change preposition

at any

show examples

time in the past.

For example

, a prestigious journal article published that 70% of teenagers used to work on their phones and watch social

media

influencers and copycat their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

In other words

, teens become addicted to social

media

. Indeed,

this

makes it clear that

such

advancement might deteriorate juveniles'

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Furthermore

, kids might become unsocialized, and

this

might impact their mental health. To illustrate, ten years ago, youth used to participate in social activities and engage with culture to experience and learn different skills,

however

now, most pupils become lonely and isolated.

Such

acts might result in useless individuals

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

are more prone to develop mental diseases

such

as depression.

Thus

, it becomes apparent that juveniles could be adversely affected by the new

media

. In conclusion, in my opinion, I strongly agree that spending the weekend at home might have a negative impact on teenagers'

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

This

is because many teens are busy with social

media

However

, if their family emboldened them to participate in group activities, teens 99% refused and

start

Wrong verb form

started

show examples

arguments.

Submitted by mgumssan on Mon Feb 27 2023

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task response

Provide a more comprehensive and balanced response to the essay prompt. Address both the reasons and potential positive aspects of spending weekends at home.

coherence and cohesion

Work on improving the overall structure and organization of the essay. Use clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and ensure that they are logically connected.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days in some countries an increasing number of young adults are choosing their whole weekands inside homes. Why do you think it is happening ? Is this a positive or negative development?

Word Count

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

By punishing murders with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons.

In some cultures today, older people in retirement from work are spending money on themselves (e.g. on holidays), instead of saving money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development?