Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

#people #access #computers #basis #children #computer #games #impacts #effects

this

modern age, with ubiquitous

access

to computers, video games have become a popular activity for

children

This

trend is causing childhood obesity and other related diseases that arise from too much computer gaming.

This

damage,

however

, can be significantly reduced by engaging

children

in outdoor

activities

. One of the most contingent reasons

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

why

children

are increasingly preferring onscreen gaming to outdoor recreational

activities

that involve physical movement is easy

access

Add the particle

to access

show examples

to computers.

As a result

of their sedentary video gaming habit, they will develop childhood obesity, which is well above their normal and healthy weight range. These

children

are at an increased risk of breathing problems and other high blood

pressure related

Add a hyphen

pressure-related

show examples

diseases. As an example, people who weigh 20

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

more than their standard average weight are 50

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

more likely to become obese adults.

This

is associated with a number of serious health conditions including heart disease, diabetes, and even cancer. The measures taken against that problem are in effect

abbudant

Correct your spelling

abundant

. Help from parents comes first and foremost. Family members can address it smartly by attracting their

children

to outdoor sports and entertainment that involve enough physical movement. They can enrol them in art or

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

schools for extracurricular

activities

which divert the

children

's attention from too much video gaming. By providing these facilities to the

children

, parents are able to prevent the damage caused by excessive computer gaming.

Children

who participate in outdoor physical

activities

at least 8 hours a week are 40

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

less likely to become obese adults than those who do not participate. In conclusion, obesity is one of the major problems

children

develop

as a result

of incredibly easy

access

to computers.

This

access

leads to an excessive gaming

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

children

However

, regular outdoor leisure

activities

and involvement

inextra-curricular

Correct your spelling

in extracurricular

programs could be the most effective possible measures to address

this

issue.

Submitted by Allazhar on Tue Feb 28 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

addiction
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
eye strain
inappropriate content
social skills
isolation
academic performance
time limits
parental supervision
age-appropriate
physical activities
digital literacy
balanced computer usage
excessive gaming

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Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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in many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

You are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain: Why you cannot pay the rent When you will pay the rent. How you will ensure you can pay your rent in the future