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Writing Samples
Band 5

International sporting events like the Olympics and football World Cup place a huge financial burdens on host nations that cannot be justified. To what extent do you garee or disagree with this opinion?

#events #olympics #football #world #cup #place #burdens #host #nations #garee
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There
some
Add a missing verb
are some
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 important reasons to disagree with the idea that providing competitions like
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
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 games or
football
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the football
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World
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 Cup is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of money for
host
Correct article usage
the host
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 government. Personally, I
am completely disagree
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completely disagree
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 with
this
Linking Words
 view. For
variety
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a variety
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 of reasons, it is wrong to count
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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international sporting
events
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 like the Olympic games
Change the verb form
are
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is burdens
Change the verb form
is burdened
is burdening
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 for the financial economy
for
Change preposition
of
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 the
country
Use synonyms
 where that event
is provides
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is provided
show examples
.
Firstly
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, it
because
Add a missing verb
is because
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 of
money
Correct article usage
the money
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, which tourists bring here to live, which they spend
for
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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local entertainment.
Secondly
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, actually, they come here not only for watching that competition
,
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but,
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also
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for
Change preposition
to
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see
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seeing
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new
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a new
the new
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 culture,
due to
Linking Words
 its tradition in
this
Linking Words
country
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become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 more popular in the
world
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.
For example
Linking Words
, as shown
the
Change preposition
in the
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 football
World
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 Cup in Qatar,
local
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the local
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 nation has a strong principle about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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religion, and because of
that
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,that
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 they demonstrate
non tolerance
Add a hyphen
non-tolerance
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,
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apply
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 when someone
don’t
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doesn’t
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 respect their faith.
Thirdly
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, after the really huge
events
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, as I mentioned before,
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
a country
the country
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 which provided them become more
interest
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interested
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 and respectful in the worldwide area. In my opinion, governments should be more active, to create these
events
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, if they really want to improve their economy and even
politically
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political
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 conditions.
For instance
Linking Words
, when Qatar provided the
World
Use synonyms
 Cup approximately one and
half
Correct article usage
a half
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 million visitors,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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had come there for watching
those
Correct determiner usage
the
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 football games and simultaneously
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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acquaint
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
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 the local culture. Those are good purposes for
make
Change the verb form
making
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 grandiose
events
Use synonyms
 in your
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I support the idea that providing international sporting
events
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
an
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 excellent step for each government.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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