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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps illustrate the structure of a public
park
Use synonyms
 in 1920 and today. At first glance, it can be seen how some major changes happened during
this
Linking Words
 period, with almost all the old features now substituted by others. In fact, the only things which remained identical are the two entrances and the
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 on the right of Arnold Avenue’s entrance. Regarding the changes, the most striking one is the substitution of the fountain in the centre of the
park
Use synonyms
 with a
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
, which has seats on every side,
while
Linking Words
 in 1920 they were spread along the
park
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, on the left side of the
park
Use synonyms
, entering from Eldon street, the space in which a stage for musicians and a
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 were, is now occupied by an amphitheatre for concerts, with only the aforementioned
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 on the right of Arnold avenue’s entrance remaining. On the other side of the
park
Use synonyms
, the glass house on the right of Eldon street’s entrance has been changed with a water feature,
while
Linking Words
 the
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 and the pond for water plants, once located in front of the water feature, have been respectively replaced by a cafè and a children’s play area.
Finally
Linking Words
, an underground car
park
Use synonyms
 has been built during
this
Linking Words
 period. In conclusion, it can be stated how Grange
park
Use synonyms
 has undergone a great renovation over the years, and how
this
Linking Words
 can be noted from the new features of the
park
Use synonyms
, which have been completely changed.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, rose, garden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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