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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that children should be involved in educational activities in their free time. Others argue that this puts too much academic pressure on a child. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #activities #time #pressure #child
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Certain individuals believe that some
acdemical
Correct your spelling
academical
academic
 events put
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 educational force on pupils. Meanwhile, others consider that students should take
part
Use synonyms
that
Change preposition
in that
show examples
 kind of
campaigns
Fix the agreement mistake
campaign
show examples
 in their leisure time. Educational events help children to develop and expand their knowledge in different types of fields.
However
Linking Words
, sometimes it put
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much enforcement on
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation. In my opinion, Out of school lessons should be
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
schedule
Wrong verb form
scheduled
show examples
 but
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
within reasonable limits. Some
parents
Add a verb
areparents
wereparents
show examples
 afraid that extra curriculum activities can ruin their
offsping's
Correct your spelling
offspring's
 childhood. In their
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it puts too much pressure that makes their children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
suffer. They have chances of getting depression, stress and burnout. Many students go through that during their graduate
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
. That kind of demand can lead to any
consiquences
Correct your spelling
consequences
, even bad ones.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other think that their descendants are better
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
 a
part
Use synonyms
 of school activities than
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 nothing during their spare time. Pupils learn
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 when they attend different clubs and lessons. They increase their knowledge in different spheres. When I was at school my parents made me go to math, chemistry, and other lessons. It helped me a lot to be more interested in academia. In conclusion, I want to say that it is every
persons
Change noun form
person's
show examples
chose
Replace the word
choice
show examples
 to be a
part
Use synonyms
 of academic events or not.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that taking
part
Use synonyms
 in
such
Linking Words
 kind of activities will only make us better and will be a great contribution to our future.
Submitted by salta.Zh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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