The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
providen
Correct your spelling
provided
chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
the level of utilizing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
household devices
while
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
chart
evaluate
Change the verb form
evaluates
show examples
how these appliances are detrimental to the environment in Australia.
Overall
, the heating
energy
system is used in the highest
percentage
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
42
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
while
the lighting, refrigeration and
coaling
Correct your spelling
cooling
show examples
energy
is not prefered
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
use in household works, so these figures accounted for the less
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
. As can be observed from the chart,
although
the
percentage
of utilizing heating
energy
accounted for
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
42
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, the
emessions
Correct your spelling
emissions
of
this
appliance spread only by 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The other appliances are used by citizens by 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
detrimental effect of
this
appliance is twofold from before. The
percentage
of the water heating
energy
system is utilized
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
This
percentage
is the highest amount of
energy
gas emissions in all of
categories
Add an article
the categories
show examples
.
Also
,
this
figure equals its gas emissions result. In conclusion, in Australian
Correct your spelling
housework
house works
houseworks
Add a comma
,houseworks
show examples
the heating and water heating
energy
is utilized the highest amount, at the same time the other appliances
also
is more devastated as well.
Submitted by ilkinkarimov on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, percentage, percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
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