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Writing Samples
Band 5

DISCIPLINE IS AN EVER INCREASING PROBLEM IN MODERN SCHOOLS. SOME THINK THAT IT IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TEACHERS WHILE OTHERS THINK THAT THIS IS RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS. DISCUSS BOTH THE VIEWS?

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Discipline is very important for every child. Some people think that it is the
responsibility
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 of
parents
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, and some deny that it is the
responsibility
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 of
teachers
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. In my opinion, I agree with
both
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 statements. The following essay discusses
both
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 points of view. I think it is the
responsibility
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 of
teachers
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 because
children
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 spend most of their time in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. They could learn by seeing others. And
moreover
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, they thought that if they did wrong, the teacher should punish them.
For example
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, the school day begins at 9 a.m. If a student arrives late, the teacher will smack them.
As a result
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, they learned to maintain punctuality and discipline.
Furthermore
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, the
teachers
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also
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 maintain discipline
while
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 coming early to school. So the student learned from them.
However
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, when it comes to
parents
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,
parents
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 are the first
teachers
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.
Children
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 prefer them to others, so they pay attention to what their
parents
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 say. They can
also
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 learn without fear.
For instance
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,
parents
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 have to teach their
children
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 how to behave with
elders
Correct pronoun usage
their elders
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.
Then
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 they listen to their
parents
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' words more carefully than others. So the
parents
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 have the
responsibility
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 to maintain good
behavior
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behaviour
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 at home.
Therefore
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, automatically, they behave as they do outside. By considering the above reasons,
both
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parents
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 and
teachers
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 play an equal role in the education of
children
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. It helps the child achieve success in his life.
Although
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 every child should achieve good grades, good
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 and manners are
also
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 important. So the instructors and
parents
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 should consider
both
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 views.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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