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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe it is better to raise children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be a more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #city #countryside #choice
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Many think that the upbringing of children in the urban area is beneficial,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that the village is a better option.
Although
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 minors raised in the countryside are mostly fit, I argue that there are better opportunities for them in the
city
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, there are likely chances that a child brought up in a village will be physically and mentally fit because of the clean environment. The air and water are less contaminated because of the limited usage of vehicles and fewer industries.
This
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 helps them to breathe in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh air and drink clean water, which ultimately contributes to the well-being of humans.
For instance
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, a large number of athletes participating in International level sports from India are born and brought up in villages because of their strength and immunity power.
However
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, I believe that growing in cities is preferable.
On the other hand
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,
getting
Verb problem
being
show examples
 raised in the
city
Use synonyms
 provides children with better education opportunities, as there are various institutions which provide the flexibility in choosing the most suitable learning centre for them to learn skills, which will be fruitful in their careers.
For example
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, In Delhi, there are the best finance colleges, which provide excellent education and help them to get placed in the top companies. I,
therefore
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, believe that living in the
city
Use synonyms
 has more advantages than the countryside.
To conclude
Linking Words
, living in a village means living
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 life,
while
Linking Words
 in my opinion residing in the
city
Use synonyms
 provides a myriad number of options to achieve success in life.
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task response
Include more development and examples to support your ideas. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is well-structured with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use transition words to connect ideas more effectively throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban environment
  • rural area
  • extracurricular activities
  • well-rounded development
  • advanced medical facilities
  • peaceful
  • less pollution
  • access to nature
  • community feel
  • foster a sense of belonging
  • natural surroundings
  • outdoor activities
  • healthy lifestyle
  • cultural richness
  • wholesome upbringing
What to do next:
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