In recent days, there has been an increase of music in this world. A group of people still preserve their traditional music but others opt to listen to modern songs. Given this situation, it is clear that music is essential to people and I believe that today people should listen to modern songs instead of traditional songs because of some reasons.

#music #world #group #people #songs #situation

To begin

with, the main particularly important reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

music

people

is emotional control. Accompanied by beautiful melodies,

music

can make

people

feel more comfortable and

this

situation can alter

people

’s emotions.

For example

, the arrangement composed by Chopin, Nocturne, has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

proved that

this

music

can help

people

to control their feeling and lead them to be more focused on their work. Because of

this

reason, a piece of

music

has a key role in human lives,

moreover

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

people

to manage their mood during working or studying. In terms of the kind of

music

, modern

music

may economically profit society rather than traditional

music

. Unlike old-fashioned traditional

music

, modern

music

may be preferred by many youngsters nowadays, and

this

situation can lead some musicians or

band

Fix the agreement mistake

bands

show examples

to gain many by holding gigs.

For example

, one of the northern Asia

country

, South Korea,

produce

Change the verb form

produces

show examples

many modern

musics

Change the wording

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

to get more tourist and make

music

to be the main income for their

country

Thus

, it is true that songs can increase the economy of one

country

. All in all,

music

is needed for human life because of its function as an emotional controller and I strongly recommend

people

listen to modern

music

because it can help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the economy of one

country

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Mar 01 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

213 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused bu this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Children from age 7-11 now spend more time watching television and/or playing vedio games than before. What are the effects of this on children, families and society? What are the possible solutions to this problems?