IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to make people feel safer?

#people #home
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unfortunately
Add a comma
,unfortunately
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 nowadays many
people
Use synonyms
 do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will inform what are the reasons for it and what can be done to make
people
Use synonyms
 feel safer. we live in a century where you can go out and there is a chance that you can be killed, or you can be at your own house and thieves can enter your house and they easily can murder you.
Therefore
Linking Words
 as far as I am able to judge
people
Use synonyms
 have a reason to be afraid . In news we can read that many
people
Use synonyms
 got killed in different situations,
for instance
Linking Words
 approximately 2 years ago in my hometown someone with his family got killed, or other cases 4 years ago a thief did enter one of my
friends's
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friends'
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 house,
fortunately
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,fortunately
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 no one suffered,
Moreover
Linking Words
 in the public transports like bus or train, it is often
people
Use synonyms
 lost their wallet or phone and they did not notice how it can happen.
Linking Words
also
Add a comma
,also
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 we should not forget about disasters that can happen,
for example
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 year in Turkiye and in
Syria
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,Syria
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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earthquake did claim many
people
Use synonyms
's lives. From my point of
view
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,view
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 there are many ways to make
people
Use synonyms
 feel safer,
personally
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,personally
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 I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 who work at the police statements should be everywhere I believe it will be the reason crime is decreased. in
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
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 unlucky situations can happen anytime and anywhere,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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 if
people
Use synonyms
 who work at the police statements be everywhere they will prevent it happen.
Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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