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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

#suggest #people #job #years #school #university
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It is thought
by
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some
people
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 that young
people
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 should have experience in working for several years in the transition
time
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 of graduating from school and entering university. Ideally, working is one of the best phases in life that would teach somebody to be a better person.
However
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, there are side effects of working at a young
age
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. One evident benefit to working is experience. Young
people
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 who become employees at a young
age
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 would be more responsible. I believe they could learn a lot of things
such
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 as how to manage their
time
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, how to conduct their personality, and how to adapt to others as well. Another reason that working would be advantageous is that youngsters could help their parents to prepare some funds to continue their
education
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 at university. I mean, not everyone is lucky to have parents with enough money to fund their dreams to get higher
education
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.
As a result
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, somebody must work harder at a young
age
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 to make it happen.
On the other hand
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, there are obvious disadvantages to working at a young
age
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.
Firstly
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, youngsters with the dream to achieve better
education
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 might not have enough
time
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 to prepare for entering college because they spend too much
time
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 doing their jobs.
Consequently
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, they might not get higher marks to fit the university’s requisition.
Secondly
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, the
time
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 they spend working at their
age
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 actually is the
time
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 they have to spend whether with family or friends. As we know that a workplace is a place with pressure. Working under the pressure at a young
age
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 would drive anyone to become stressed. It could affect their psychology. In conclusion, even though working is a good experience for young
people
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, it
also
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 has harmful effects. I recommend parents prepare
education
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 funds for children earlier so that children have to do is focus on their studies.
Submitted by iamlearner9697 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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