IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Every year millions of people around the world suffer from poor health as a result of air pollution What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#year #millions #people #world #health #air #pollution
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There are many issues in the world which should be solved. Sometimes
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 decisions which we can not control and influence them.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, we
also
Linking Words
 can be involved in some global problems, vote for something or be in the corner. It can be hard but the decision of the most important problem starts from
one
Use synonyms
 person. When we can not create a new order in the world and convince all
people
Use synonyms
 what is good and what is wrong, we can begin
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
life
Use synonyms
.
One
Use synonyms
 cause of poor
health
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 of air pollution is the use of petrol
cars
Use synonyms
 a
lot
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 do not think about the impact of gasoline on the environment and continue to use them,
although
Linking Words
 they have money opportunities for buying electric
cars
Use synonyms
. But the same
people
Use synonyms
 choose another
way
Use synonyms
. They just change
one
Use synonyms
 city for
life
Use synonyms
 to another, continuing to pollute the surrounding area. Probably,
one
Use synonyms
 solution for
this
Linking Words
 problem can be a great motivation to acquire electric
cars
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Italy
Add a comma
,Italy
show examples
 the government pursues a policy of tax deduction for the purchase of electric
cars
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are more and more electric
cars
Use synonyms
 with affordable prices.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the amount of the tax deduction varies and depends on the price of the car. The higher the price, the higher deduction. In
this
Linking Words
 case,
people
Use synonyms
 in Italy begin to buy electric
cars
Use synonyms
 more often, and
this
Linking Words
 trend is continuing now. A second cause of poor
health
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 of air pollution is the incorrect location of plants and factories. There are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of plants in cities or close to cities.
However
Linking Words
, many companies continue to build and sell houses near the factories.
This
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 aggravates
life
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
’s
health
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Russia
Add a comma
,Russia
show examples
 many companies sell houses near the plants for a lower price but they understand and can see the consequences of it. A
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 these conditions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they do not know any other
way
Use synonyms
 for them. In my opinion, all factories should be moved out of the city and placed in remote locations.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will suffer from different diseases. The problems of the environment are
one
Use synonyms
 of the most popular topics for discussion and search for a solution. It is hard and impossible for
people
Use synonyms
 to get others to do things right or in the best possible
way
Use synonyms
. But we
also
Linking Words
 can start from our
life
Use synonyms
 and do something positive for
health
Use synonyms
 and the environment step by step.
Submitted by nikolettliny on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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