Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, wealthy states provide financial support to third-world countries,
however
, it does not play any role to solve
poverty. So, there should be ensured other types of aid to the weak nations. Personally, I partially agree with the following view. In the paragraphs Change preposition
in solving
underneath
, Rephrase
below
this
essay shall see
my thoughts.
Verb problem
show
To begin
with, poor nations have corruption and fund does not reach the needy. The government authority eats all the cash away and the public stays without any help. For example
, the USA invested to India 500 million dollars after the tsunami, but, the populace did not get any help from the political authority. Secondly
, other types of help can be shown and exactly reached the destination. Moreover
, the ministry cannot corrupt it, because it is useless for them. To illustrate, after earthquakes in Turkey and Syria, other regions started to help by giving clothes, food and medicine. As a result
, all support reached the needy.
On the other hand
, cash is the universal type of succour. The ministers will choose what to do with the bill and use it for the needy. For instance
, when Kazakhstan took independence, other states invested 4 billion dollars. Therefore
the authority spent it on the development of the country Furthermore
, if developed people invest in school equipment such
as desks, and boards; it requires an aeroplane for transport. To give an example, if the country needed in schools than hospitals, they would build new schools for invested cash.
In conclusion, this
essay argues that money is not the only way to support third-world countries. To my mind, financial aid is not the best way and it may be eaten away.Submitted by Deadline 8th April IELTS
on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction needs to clearly state the writer's position on the issue
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the task question, the writer's position should be clearly stated and supported throughout the essay