Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid

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Nowadays, wealthy states provide financial support to third-world countries,

however

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, it does not play any role

to solve

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in solving

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poverty. So, there should be ensured other types of aid to the weak nations. Personally, I partially agree with the following view. In the paragraphs

underneath

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below

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this

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essay shall

see

Verb problem

show

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my thoughts.

To begin

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with, poor nations have corruption and fund does not reach the needy. The government authority eats all the cash away and the public stays without any help.

For example

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, the USA invested to India 500 million dollars after the tsunami, but, the populace did not get any help from the political authority.

Secondly

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, other types of help can be shown and exactly reached the destination.

Moreover

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, the ministry cannot corrupt it, because it is useless for them. To illustrate, after earthquakes in Turkey and Syria, other regions started to help by giving clothes, food and medicine.

As a result

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, all support reached the needy.

On the other hand

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, cash is the universal type of succour. The ministers will choose what to do with the bill and use it for the needy.

For instance

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, when Kazakhstan took independence, other states invested 4 billion dollars.

Therefore

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the authority spent it on the development of the country

Furthermore

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, if developed people invest in school equipment

such

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as desks, and boards; it requires an aeroplane for transport. To give an example, if the country needed in schools than hospitals, they would build new schools for invested cash. In conclusion,

this

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essay argues that money is not the only way to support third-world countries. To my mind, financial aid is not the best way and it may be eaten away.

Submitted by Deadline 8th April IELTS on Wed Mar 01 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction needs to clearly state the writer's position on the issue

task achievement

The essay does not fully address the task question, the writer's position should be clearly stated and supported throughout the essay

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

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