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Band 5

Some people believe women are better leaders than men. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #women #leaders #men
Since
then
, it is long known that men are always destined to lead.
Nevertheless
, there are those who argue that
women
 can perform
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
task better.
However
, I strongly do not concur with the same view.
To begin
 with,
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 a
leader
if
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a very difficult responsibility to handle and
women
 cannot be better than men in performing
this
 task. A
leader
 should represent toughness and authority to their constituents and cannot afford to show any weakness.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 specific characteristics of a
leader
 are difficult to be seen in
women
 since they are normally interpreted as
kind hearted
Add a hyphen
kind-hearted
show examples
 and calm.
Therefore
, the people under their reign might not take them seriously.
Furthermore
, opportunistic wrongdoers may take it as a chance to commit
crime
Add an article
a crime
show examples
 since in their mind, there might be a chance for them to be spared
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lighter sentence since the
leader
 is a woman.
In addition
,
women
 can
be greatly influence
Change the verb form
be greatly influenced
show examples
 by certain people or
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 that can compromise and alter an operation or plan.
For instance
,
a
Correct word choice
if a
show examples
person committed a murder and a sentence of
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
 penalty through lethal injection is given to the prisoner there are certain groups like Human Rights Commission
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
appeals
Correct subject-verb agreement
appeal
show examples
 to reduce it to life imprisonment.
Therefore
,
such
order
Correct article usage
an order
show examples
 is being delayed and justice for the family of the victim is not being served.
To conclude
,
women
 cannot be suited to be a
leader
 as they cannot pose as tough and autocratic as men can.
Also
, their
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 skills can be greatly
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
show examples
 by other people
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
impending
Correct your spelling
impeding
show examples
 the task needed to be done.
Submitted by kmaegalilee on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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