IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe women are better leaders than men. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #women #leaders #men
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Since
then
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, it is long known that men are always destined to lead.
Nevertheless
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, there are those who argue that
women
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 can perform
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
task better.
However
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, I strongly do not concur with the same view.
To begin
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 with,
to be
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being
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 a
leader
Use synonyms
if
Correct your spelling
is
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 a very difficult responsibility to handle and
women
Use synonyms
 cannot be better than men in performing
this
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 task. A
leader
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 should represent toughness and authority to their constituents and cannot afford to show any weakness.
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This
Correct determiner usage
These
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 specific characteristics of a
leader
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 are difficult to be seen in
women
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 since they are normally interpreted as
kind hearted
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kind-hearted
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 and calm.
Therefore
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, the people under their reign might not take them seriously.
Furthermore
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, opportunistic wrongdoers may take it as a chance to commit
crime
Add an article
a crime
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 since in their mind, there might be a chance for them to be spared
by
Change preposition
apply
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a lighter sentence since the
leader
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 is a woman.
In addition
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,
women
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 can
be greatly influence
Change the verb form
be greatly influenced
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 by certain people or
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 that can compromise and alter an operation or plan.
For instance
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,
a
Correct word choice
if a
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person committed a murder and a sentence of
death
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the death
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 penalty through lethal injection is given to the prisoner there are certain groups like Human Rights Commission
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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appeals
Correct subject-verb agreement
appeal
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 to reduce it to life imprisonment.
Therefore
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,
such
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order
Correct article usage
an order
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 is being delayed and justice for the family of the victim is not being served.
To conclude
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,
women
Use synonyms
 cannot be suited to be a
leader
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 as they cannot pose as tough and autocratic as men can.
Also
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, their
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
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 skills can be greatly
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
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 by other people
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
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impending
Correct your spelling
impeding
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 the task needed to be done.
Submitted by kmaegalilee on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional intelligence
  • democratic leadership
  • participation
  • collaboration
  • diverse leadership
  • decision-making
  • problem-solving
  • perspectives
  • compassionate
  • empathetic
  • supportive work environment
  • historical data
  • research
  • female-led businesses
  • financial performance
  • multitasking
  • managing complex projects
  • teams
What to do next:
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