The map shows the plan for a new factory complex and housing area for employees.

The map shows the plan for a new factory complex and housing area for employees.
The given
map
illustrates either the present structure of the factory and residential
area
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
the plan for future changes.
Overall
, it is obvious that the plan consists of significant changes which will make the
area
more appropriate for employees and their families. The most considerable is the development of the roads,
thus
, we can see that in the future it is planned to construct a new road with a bridge towards the river in the north. Farmland in the northern part of the
map
will be replaced by the apartment complex and moved to the east above the river.
Therefore
, near the upper circular road are going to be spotted new shops to the left and a medical centre to the right.
In addition
, there is planning
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
lot of improvements in the middle part of the
map
where all factory buildings are going to be demolished and replaced by a new residential
area
for workers.
Moreover
, we can see that the school and playground will be built in the eastern part near the new houses. In general,
according to
the
map
and the plan
it is clear that
there will be plenty of improvements in
this
area
which will be pleasant for future citizens.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words map, area with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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