The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two following pie charts illustrate the percentage of the

sales

Use synonyms

in online shopping for four different retail sectors in New Zealand, but the one on the right shows the data for 2013

while

Linking Words

the one on the left presents the

sales

Use synonyms

in 2003.

Overall

Linking Words

, as it can be clearly seen that in 2003 the travel sector had the highest number of

sales

Use synonyms

but it slightly decreased in 2013 so the sector with the most

sales

Use synonyms

in 2013 was films and music.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the lowest

sales

Use synonyms

were books in 2003 and clothes in 2013.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, clothes had a huge part in online

sales

Use synonyms

in 2003 as it was almost a quarter of the pie chart as

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is shown in the data. Books sale has been nearly stable through the ten years because they increased from 19 to 22 cent

while

Linking Words

film and music had

Remove the article

apply

show examples

significant growth as they went from 21% to 33%.

To conclude

Linking Words

, travel has been one of the highest sectors with

sales

Use synonyms

and books were the lowest sector with online shopping

sales

Use synonyms

in 2003 and the second lowest

sales

Use synonyms

in 2013.

Submitted by ghezlanalharbi5 on Thu Mar 02 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

189 words

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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Working from home is better than office. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The statistics show that prior to the year 1960, less than half of one percent of adolescents had been vegetarians.

The pictures below show how tomato ketchup is made. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

Successful sport person can earn great deal of money more than the people in other important profession. Some people think this is fully justifies were other thinks it feel unfair. Discuss both view and give you opinion.

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.