The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #sales #sectors #zealand #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The two following pie charts illustrate the percentage of the

sales

in online shopping for four different retail sectors in New Zealand, but the one on the right shows the data for 2013

while

the one on the left presents the

sales

in 2003.

Overall

, as it can be clearly seen that in 2003 the travel sector had the highest number of

sales

but it slightly decreased in 2013 so the sector with the most

sales

in 2013 was films and music.

Nevertheless

, the lowest

sales

were books in 2003 and clothes in 2013.

On the other hand

, clothes had a huge part in online

sales

in 2003 as it was almost a quarter of the pie chart as

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is shown in the data. Books sale has been nearly stable through the ten years because they increased from 19 to 22 cent

while

film and music had

Remove the article

apply

show examples

significant growth as they went from 21% to 33%.

To conclude

, travel has been one of the highest sectors with

sales

and books were the lowest sector with online shopping

sales

in 2003 and the second lowest

sales

in 2013.

Submitted by ghezlanalharbi5 on Thu Mar 02 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

189 words

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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes?** What measures should be taken to combat this issue?**

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people.

In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?