The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two following pie charts illustrate the percentage of the
sales
in online shopping for four different retail sectors in New Zealand, but the one on the right shows the data for 2013 while
the one on the left presents the sales
in 2003.
Overall
, as it can be clearly seen that in 2003 the travel sector had the highest number of sales
but it slightly decreased in 2013 so the sector with the most sales
in 2013 was films and music. Nevertheless
, the lowest sales
were books in 2003 and clothes in 2013.
On the other hand
, clothes had a huge part in online sales
in 2003 as it was almost a quarter of the pie chart as it
is shown in the data. Books sale has been nearly stable through the ten years because they increased from 19 to 22 cent Correct pronoun usage
apply
while
film and music had a
significant growth as they went from 21% to 33%.
Remove the article
apply
To conclude
, travel has been one of the highest sectors with sales
and books were the lowest sector with online shopping sales
in 2003 and the second lowest sales
in 2013.Submitted by ghezlanalharbi5 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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