People nowadays spend their free time less actively than in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, a debate regarding the sports activity of people emerged.
In particular
, many people argue that, in the past, individuals were more active,
whereas
nowadays it happens less. I partially disagree with
this
view, because it is only an appearance given by the
fact
that now there are more ways to pass
time
Correct article usage
the time
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. In
this
essay, a brief explanation of the matter will be given. It is undoubtedly true that, in our times, there is an increasing amount of non-active hobbies. In
fact
, with the availability of new technologies, many people, especially the younger generations, tend to spend
time
playing video games or simply surfing the internet.
Furthermore
, the increased offer of films and
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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series at every
time
of the day, thanks to streaming platforms, is playing a role in shifting people’s habits. At the same
time
, the rate of overweight children is rising and
this
could be linked to these new hobbies, which are making them less active.
On the other hand
, it should be noted that in the past not only there were ways to inactively pass
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
too
Rephrase
apply
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but they were
also
greatly spread among the population. In
fact
, technology has only substituted some other hobbies of the past,
such
as table games or card games.
Moreover
, the rates of children that are now part of a sports club are similar, if not greater, compared to the past.
For example
, in my city, football teams are starting to struggle to keep up with all the new subscriptions, and
this
can be proof of an incremented involvement of younger generations in sports.
Hence
, the observed increased amount of overweight children could be more a consequence of negative diets. In conclusion, I think that there is no reason to
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
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about levels of physical activity. As stated above, the possible reduction is only an impression and other factors suggest that, in
fact
, it is not true.
Nonetheless
, it is true that new technologies can pose a risk in
this
sense,
thus
the phenomenon should be accurately monitored.
Submitted by formaggio124 on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific idea and supports the main argument effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional words and phrases to create a clear and well-structured flow of ideas throughout the essay.
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