IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Public health is becoming an urgent issue nowadays. Some argue that governments should create nutrition and food choice laws to improve public health, while others believe that it is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#health #argue #governments #nutrition #food #choice #laws #matter #responsibility
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Use synonyms
Health
Add an article
The health
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 of the society has become an important problem in recent years.
It
Correct pronoun usage
Is
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is argue
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is argued
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by
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apply
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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that nutrition and
food
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 policies should be created by
authorties
Correct your spelling
authorities
 of countries in order to enhance individuals'
health
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,
as
Correct word choice
while
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 others
asserts
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assert
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 that it
is belong
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belongs
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 to
people
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's option. Taking some roles of governments in terms of creating
food
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 laws may be beneficial for
people
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. Looking from the other side of
this
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 issue, it depends
to
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on
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people
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's responsibility. On one the hand, it gives positive effects
to
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on
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people
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 that governments create some policies in
favor
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favour
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 of
nutrion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
. Most
people
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 have less information about
foods
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 and their ingredients
hence
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, they may do some faults in terms of
food
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 selection. Governments can guide
people
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 to choose beneficial
foods
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 for
human's
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human
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health
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by
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through
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 some regulations. They may
also
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 enforce
food
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 manufacturers and agricultural businesses to present healthy
foods
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 and goods for
people
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 by laws and inspections.
Thus
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,
people
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's
nutrion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 and
health
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 quality can develop.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 have to possess the responsibility of
food
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 preference.
By
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With
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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technologic
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technological
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 improvements,
people
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 have taken a chance to get information easier than past. They can explore
about
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apply
show examples
food
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's contents if they want to inform from many sources.
In addition
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, many programmes and conferences have been arranged to raise awareness in terms of
variety
Correct article usage
the variety
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 of
foods
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.
Therefore
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,
people
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 can figure out their issues
about
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with
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nutrion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 without any support. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied
about
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in
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this
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 discussion.
Although
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,
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apply
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people
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 have been qualified with improvements to sustain their
health
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 about nutrition, in my opinion, it would get more benefits that
governemnts
Correct your spelling
governments
 may intervene by some regulations and laws.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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