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Writing Samples
Band 4

Public health is becoming an urgent issue nowadays. Some argue that governments should create nutrition and food choice laws to improve public health, while others believe that it is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#health #argue #governments #nutrition #food #choice #laws #matter #responsibility
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Health
Add an article
The health
show examples
 of the society has become an important problem in recent years.
It
Correct pronoun usage
Is
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is argue
Change the verb form
is argued
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by
Change preposition
apply
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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that nutrition and
food
 policies should be created by
authorties
Correct your spelling
authorities
 of countries in order to enhance individuals'
health
,
as
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 others
asserts
Change the verb form
assert
show examples
 that it
is belong
Change the verb form
belongs
show examples
 to
people
's option. Taking some roles of governments in terms of creating
food
 laws may be beneficial for
people
. Looking from the other side of
this
 issue, it depends
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
's responsibility. On one the hand, it gives positive effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
 that governments create some policies in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
nutrion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
. Most
people
 have less information about
foods
 and their ingredients
hence
, they may do some faults in terms of
food
 selection. Governments can guide
people
 to choose beneficial
foods
 for
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
health
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 some regulations. They may
also
 enforce
food
 manufacturers and agricultural businesses to present healthy
foods
 and goods for
people
 by laws and inspections.
Thus
,
people
's
nutrion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 and
health
 quality can develop.
On the other hand
,
people
 have to possess the responsibility of
food
 preference.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technologic
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 improvements,
people
 have taken a chance to get information easier than past. They can explore
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food
's contents if they want to inform from many sources.
In addition
, many programmes and conferences have been arranged to raise awareness in terms of
variety
Correct article usage
the variety
show examples
 of
foods
.
Therefore
,
people
 can figure out their issues
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
nutrion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 without any support. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 discussion.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 have been qualified with improvements to sustain their
health
 about nutrition, in my opinion, it would get more benefits that
governemnts
Correct your spelling
governments
 may intervene by some regulations and laws.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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