Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#relationships #workplace #person #focus #work

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In the workplace environment, it is commonly thought that making relationships with

people

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there is not really significant as

people

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must focus on

goalsgoal

Correct your spelling

goals goal

such

Linking Words

as working. I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

assertion. Though working is the main purpose in the office, building good terms with

such

Linking Words

colleagues

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brings lots of advantages and affects a lot

Change preposition

show examples

working

Add an article

the working

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process

Fix the agreement mistake

processes

show examples

. First of all, having good relationships with

colleagues

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helps

people

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feel more comfortable and happy.

This

Linking Words

is because during or after

working

Change the form of the verb

work

show examples

people

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are prone to stress out or get bored, tired and other negative feelings.

Therefore

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, to continue working, it is

Correct article usage

apply

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essence that those feelings need dispelling and talking with friends in the office is a good decision for them

due to

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the fact that they are right in the place and mostly they are willing to help and pour out. If an individual has

awful

Correct article usage

an awful

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emotional state, his

colleagues

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will share and cheer him up,

otherwise

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, they always

congrat

Correct your spelling

congrats

on his success and take pride in him happily, these memories are surely engraved on his mind eternally.

Moreover

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, befriending

colleagues

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is a good boost to work better and more efficiently.

This

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can be explained as a kind association

will

Correct pronoun usage

that will

show examples

give tips and help a person whenever he has difficulties,

likewise

Linking Words

teamworking to together succeed. Suppose a teacher is struggling with students'

behaviors

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behaviours

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, she can share

this

Linking Words

problem with her highly-experienced co-workers and plan some feasible solutions in order to cope with that handful

commonplace

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of commonplace

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issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

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To sum up

Linking Words

besides

Linking Words

working, having good terms with

colleagues

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is important too, not only because of mental state improvement but making the working process more

conveniently

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convenient

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and

efficiently

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efficient

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

people

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, especially

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

prefer working lonesome, should try to build good relationships with those having the same jobs.

Submitted by Bravid Nguyen on Fri Mar 03 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

What is it in the mass media that has negative effects on teenagers and what measures should governments take to solve this problem?

manufacturing process of making sugar from sugar cane.

Nowadays many young people are attracted to dangerous sport such as snowboarding or mountain biking. What makes these sports so attractive? What measures should be taken to minimize the risks?

Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?