Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#relationships #workplace #person #focus #work

In the workplace environment, it is commonly thought that making relationships with

people

there is not really significant as

people

must focus on

goalsgoal

Correct your spelling

goals goal

such

as working. I totally disagree with

this

assertion. Though working is the main purpose in the office, building good terms with

such

colleagues

brings lots of advantages and affects a lot

Change preposition

show examples

working

Add an article

the working

show examples

process

Fix the agreement mistake

processes

show examples

. First of all, having good relationships with

colleagues

helps

people

feel more comfortable and happy.

This

is because during or after

working

Change the form of the verb

work

show examples

people

are prone to stress out or get bored, tired and other negative feelings.

Therefore

, to continue working, it is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

essence that those feelings need dispelling and talking with friends in the office is a good decision for them

due to

the fact that they are right in the place and mostly they are willing to help and pour out. If an individual has

awful

Correct article usage

an awful

show examples

emotional state, his

colleagues

will share and cheer him up,

otherwise

, they always

congrat

Correct your spelling

congrats

on his success and take pride in him happily, these memories are surely engraved on his mind eternally.

Moreover

, befriending

colleagues

is a good boost to work better and more efficiently.

This

can be explained as a kind association

will

Correct pronoun usage

that will

show examples

give tips and help a person whenever he has difficulties,

likewise

teamworking to together succeed. Suppose a teacher is struggling with students'

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

, she can share

this

problem with her highly-experienced co-workers and plan some feasible solutions in order to cope with that handful

commonplace

Change preposition

of commonplace

show examples

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

To sum up

besides

working, having good terms with

colleagues

is important too, not only because of mental state improvement but making the working process more

conveniently

Change the word

convenient

show examples

and

efficiently

Change the word

efficient

show examples

Thus

people

, especially

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

prefer working lonesome, should try to build good relationships with those having the same jobs.

Submitted by Bravid Nguyen on Fri Mar 03 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today more and more people want things instanly. Why is this ? Is it positive or negative development ?

Every year several Ianuages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Many countries are struggling with increases in crime rates and some think that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?