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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #usa #food #restaurants #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar
char
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chart
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 illustrate how regularly of
USA
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 citizen
eating
Wrong verb form
ate
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 at fast
food
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restaurant
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 among
people
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in
Change preposition
from
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 2003 until 2013. The Information
divided
Add a missing verb
is divided
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 into six categories that the
respondens
Correct your spelling
respondents
respondent
 should be chosen,
such
Linking Words
 as every day, several times a
week
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, once a
week
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, once or twice a month, a few times a year, and never. The
value
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 of the bar chart is
delivering
Wrong verb form
delivered
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 using
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
the percentage
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 of
people
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. The comparison of
this
Linking Words
 chart focus on three
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
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 of the year. It
consist
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consists
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 of 2003, 2006 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority
people
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 of
USA
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eating
Wrong verb form
ate
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 at fast
food
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Use synonyms
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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 once a
week
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2003 and 2006 and once or twice a month
on
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in
show examples
 2013. The intensively
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increase over the years.
However
Linking Words
, the
category
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 of ‘Never’ has
decrease
Change the verb form
decreased
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 that proving
of
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apply
show examples
USA
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people
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willing
Add a missing verb
are willing
show examples
 to eat at fast
food
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Use synonyms
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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. The percentage of
people
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 eating fast
food
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 “every day” at
Use synonyms
Add an article
the restaurant
a restaurant
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restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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 is decreasing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the year
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 from 4% to 3%. It is
a good news
Remove the article
good news
a piece of good news
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 that
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USA
Correct your spelling
US
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people
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aware
Add a missing verb
are aware
show examples
 to change
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that things,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
category
Add an article
the category
show examples
 “several times a
week
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” the
value
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 fluctuation
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the third period that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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higher is on 2006
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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about 20% and the lower is on 2013
is
Correct word choice
and is
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 about 16. For the “once a
week
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”
category
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 shown the dynamic
value
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 of the percentage with the biggest score
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2006 is 33%. The unique phenomenon
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
illustrate
Replace the word
illustration
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 is in the
category
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 of “once or twice a month” that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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point
Replace the word
pointed
show examples
 out in 2013 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
value
Use synonyms
 of 33%. All in all, the trend data is quite normal and the habit of eating well is exist
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
USA
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people
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 because they are regularly eating fast
food
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 just once a
week
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 (
approximatelly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 25% of the respondent) and the other one who is keeping eat well ( health
food
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) that never try fast
food
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 is approximately on 4%. Eating fast
food
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 is a bad habit for our health, but you still eat
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
normal
Add an article
the normal
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 size
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your body.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, food, restaurant, people, week, value, category with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast food consumption
  • dining frequency
  • decade overview
  • trend analysis
  • to dine out
  • fluctuation
  • sharp increase
  • gradual decline
  • eating habits
  • statistical comparison
  • consuming pattern
  • noteworthy change
  • anomaly
  • periodic comparison
  • data interpretation
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