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Writing Samples /
Band 7

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#information #railway #systems #six #cities #summarise #features #comparisons
The table shows
the
Correct article usage
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information on the underground railway
system
 in six cities namely, London,
Paris
,
Tokyo
,
Washington
,
Kyoto
 and Los Angeles. The information includes the date at which the
system
 opened, how many
kilometres
 the train covers and the number of passengers per year.
Overall
,
Tokyo
 holds the highest number of passengers travelling by underground trains which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 1191 million per annum.
Paris
 is the closed second which contains almost 1191 million commuters
whereas
,
Kyoto
 has the least number of travellers among all the six cities which is 45 million.
However
, from the figures given in the
,
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data it is evident that London has the oldest underground railway
system
 which dates back to 1863.In Los Angeles. The underground
system
 opened some 22 years back
whereas
, in
Paris
,
Tokyo
,
Washington
 and
Kyoto
 the
system
 opened in the ’90s. It is
also
 clear from the data that the trains in London cover a large distance which is equal to 394 km.
On the other hand
 ,in
Paris
, the route coverage is 199
kilometres
whereas
, the train
system
 in
Kyoto
 covers the smallest distance in comparison with others which is only 11km
while
 the train
system
 in
Tokyo
 and
Washington
 DC covers almost the same distance with approximately 29
kilometres
 difference.
Tokyo
 trains have coverage of 155 km
whereas
 the
kilometres
 shrink to 126 for
Washington
 DC.
Submitted by aribaatique11 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words system, paris, tokyo, washington, kyoto, kilometres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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