IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #computer #telephone #job #home
Nowadays, working at
home
 has been realized. It is true that
people
 can use their private digital devices to deal with working tasks conveniently. The Internet has shown its great power, and I believe that online working from
home
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more advantages, Working at
home
 is beneficial to boost the
effiency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
 of employees. Commuting
time
 is saved and
people
 have longer
time
 for relaxation and preparing for the next day's
work
.
In addition
, they are not disturbed by office
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
show examples
 and can pay more attention to
work
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 hand It is
also
 easier for them to adjust their pace
according to
 the quality and quarterly
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working tasks. Working at
home
 makes it possible for
people
 to achieve
work-life
Correct article usage
a work-life
show examples
 balance.
People
 are able to
doing
Change the verb
do
show examples
 their
work
 and accompany their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 in the meantime. Especially for workers who have children,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have more
time
 to educate their son or daughter in person, which is vital because parents are always
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
educator
Fix the agreement mistake
educators
show examples
. In spite of
this
,
people
 working at
home
 can receive
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
support from their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 in return, which can help them get over the difficulties in their
work
. It has to admit that managers may be unwilling to allow their workers to
work
 online
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it is hard for managers to monitor workers’ performance.
However
,
this
 problem can be solved
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 asking workers to present
work
diary
Fix the agreement mistake
diaries
show examples
. In conclusion, my point of view is that the advantages of working at
home
 outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. Not only will it increase
people
's motivation to
work
, but
also
 it provides
longer
Add an article
a longer
show examples
time
 for
people
 to stay with their family.
Submitted by yc27307 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!