IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #governments #space #programmes #services #schools #hospitals
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it is sometimes argued that government should spend more money on vital public services
such
 as schools and hospitals rather than spend on
space
 programmes, I agree with
governments
 should pay more funds on public services. on the one hand ,
governments
 should spend money on
space
 projection ,because it can bring many advantages.
firstly
, nowadays the earth we lived on has been polluted heavily and
space
 exploration can help scientists to find another living
space
 maybe we can livikuv the future.
secondly
,
space
 exploration can leacepromote scientific and technology ,and
finally
,
space
 programmes are conducive to exploring new energy. ho and time,and
also
space
 is too dangerous for astronauts to search,
while
 the results of
space
 research do not benefit normal people in our daily lives so
governments
 and public finance will be under a heavy burden and great .
therefore
governments
 give priority to solving vital public services problems
such
 as schools and hospitals.
for example
,
governments
 can invest more budgets in infrastructure to construct more bais\ facilities ,because it can improve service quality.
in addition
,education and medical treatment
also
 face a huge problem,
for instance
 ,
governments
 should give financial support to children in a popular area,in order to make sure every child has access to education. particularly, medical technology is still underdeveloped,
governments
 have a responsibility to ensure people are healthy. bu in conclusion,my view is that
governments
 should attach great importance to guaranteeing the stability and prosperity of society.
Submitted by 992127079 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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