IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons whare relevant.

The line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons whare relevant.
#line #thefts #thousand #vehicles #four #countries #information #features #comparisons #whare
The line graph describes vehicle
theft
rates
 measured in thousands in four different countries namely Britain,
Sweden
,
France
 and Canada from 1990 to 1999.
Overall
, most of the transport
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 stolen in Great Britain throughout the years.
However
,
France
 and
Sweden
 had fluctuations over the periods.
Conversely
,
Sweden
 shows an upward trend. With regards to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Britain, at the start of the period, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 nearly 17000
vechiles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
thefts
Change the noun form
theft
show examples
 attempts are made. Later on, the
theft
rates
 increased steadily for three years and it attained its peak in 1993 After that, it faced a sudden decline around16000 by 1994.
Likewise
, the
rates
 are starts to increase and
peak
Wrong verb form
peaked
show examples
 at 20000 in 1997. At
last
,
at the end
 of the period
although
 it starts to decline it finished with a higher percentage of
theft
rates
.
Similarly
,
Sweden
 shows a gradual rise from the beginning of the year 1990 which is around 7000. It continues to increase till 1996 and after that, it remained in a steady state for
further
 two years
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 13000.
Finally
, it ends at 14000 in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1999.
On the other hand
, Canada and
France
 were the countries with
low
Add an article
a low
show examples
 proportion of stolen vehicles. In 1990, 6000
theft
 incidents are noted in 1990 Canada.
Similarly
,
France
Change noun form
France's
show examples
 rate was 1 thousand lower in that same period. Both countries faced various trends. But, in the end, Both showed the same amount of 6000.
Submitted by santosh2001kk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words theft, rates, sweden, france with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: