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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, adults living with their parents after graduating or even after finding a job. Do the advantages of the outweigh the disadvantages?

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Needless to say, some people are preferable to stay with their
parents
Use synonyms
 after becoming financially independent
due to
Linking Words
 a plethora of reasons. In
this
Linking Words
 monograph, I will weigh up both beneficial and adverse aspects of
this
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 thread and
thus
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 lead to a logical conclusion. First of all,
parents
Use synonyms
 are equal to god, they stand with us in all ups and downs.
Therefore
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, some
adults
Use synonyms
 are likely to pay back the same equal amount of love to their
parents
Use synonyms
 by taking care of their health, and medical checks and buying all the necessary items.
Furthermore
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, staying with your
parents
Use synonyms
 can save a lot of money on daily expenses in terms of food, internet bills, rental fees and many more.
In addition
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,
adults
Use synonyms
 don't wanna live a solitary life.
Hence
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, it's apparent why many young people are living with their
parents
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, young people are not able to experience
independence
Replace the word
independent
show examples
 life
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living with their
parents
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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,
adults
Use synonyms
 are
dependence
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on their
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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 when they are facing any hard situation. In some countries like
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
,
srilanka
Change the capitalization
Srilanka
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 where
adults
Use synonyms
 are always living in the shadow of their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
, they are not able to make
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their life.
Therefore
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, moving out of their
parents
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps
adults
Use synonyms
 to
learns
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 like financial management,
cooking
Correct word choice
and cooking
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. In recapitulation,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 iterate that totally depends on
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 choices.
However
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, in terms of
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
 terms, living with
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
our parents
show examples
 are more
pros
Fix the agreement mistake
pro
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,
in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
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 we can able to spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time with
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
our parents
show examples
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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