some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

Generally, Most people think that the main way to be happy

Change preposition

with

show examples

growth is to have a lot of capital. I will be emphasizing how a lot of

check

Change to a plural noun

checks

show examples

can make people happy.

For example

, being able to afford anything you want, and

also

for respect. And I will

also

state some other things in

soul

Correct pronoun usage

my soul

show examples

that

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

any other person happy with certain points.

such

as falling in love, ceremonies like, graduation, wedding, giving birth, and being successful in your career. From the beginning of time, everyone knows that having

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

brings happiness. when we are talking about living

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

to our expectations, going to places we want to be, going on expensive trips, and getting the best medical attention overseas,

that is

another level of being happy. And

also

for respect and dignity.

besides

everyone knows wealth is the power to some ground.

However

, they are other ways in existence to make each other happy. when we talk of falling in love, most individuals feel falling in love is another happiness on its own and the best feelings anyone ever gets. when it comes to ceremonies of heart

for instance

graduation, successful birth after going through hard labour, wedding and so on.

Furthermore

, there's

this

saying health is wealth. In conclusion, the point of having lots of

bill

Fix the agreement mistake

bills

show examples

for happiness and other ways to be happy has been justified with some reasons stated above.

Submitted by buzbyjohn45 on Sat Mar 04 2023

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Your opinion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

236 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

In many parts of the world kills and boys are educated together in co-educational or mixed schools think that girls and boys benefit from being educated separately in single sex schools towards extend to you agree with this view?