In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time job while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teenagers working outweigh the disadvantages ?

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There is no denying the fact that the main impact of working for juveniles is debatable.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that emboldened youngsters to work after school can help them in the future.

This

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essay will shed light upon some merits and demerits and will give my own opinion. There are masses who argue that the benefits of emboldening youngsters to

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

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in part-time work considerably outweigh its demerits. The main reason for believing

this

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is that working at an early age might help folks to gain an excellent experience

as well as

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to understand the environment of the workplace. To illustrate, youngsters often have no experience before, if they start to engage with others in the workplace, they might learn different

skills

Use synonyms

such

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as communication

skills

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, leadership

skills

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as well as

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problem-solving

skills

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Moreover

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Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part-time

jobs

Use synonyms

might help teens to plan their future

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

when they start to practice them in the real world.

Thus

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this

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makes it clear that motivating juveniles to participate in part-time

jobs

Use synonyms

can be beneficial for them.

On the other hand

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, others

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that teens should not join a part-time job as it might cause several disadvantages for them.

To begin

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with, youth might neglect their school studies as they will be busy most of the time with their work.

For instance

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, juveniles might arrive home very late and they might be stressed out by workload.

Therefore

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, they might be unable to focus or solve their university assignments which may lead them to fail their college entire year.

Hence

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, it becomes apparent that part-time

jobs

Use synonyms

may cause some dilemmas for youth when they are studying at school. In conclusion, both arguments have their merits. On balance,

however

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, I strongly believe that teens must

be embolden

Change the verb form

be emboldened

show examples

to practice part-time

jobs

Use synonyms

as these might strengthen their

skills

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and allow them to acquire several opportunities in the future.

Submitted by mgumssan on Sat Mar 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear and organized sequence of ideas to enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

Work on providing a stronger introduction and conclusion that clearly address the essay prompt and summarize the main points of the discussion.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more specific examples and elaboration to fully develop your ideas and arguments. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Ensure that your response fully addresses the task prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers working part-time. Develop your ideas more thoroughly to provide a clear and comprehensive response.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time job while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teenagers working outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people think that teenagers should follow the old generation but others believe that they sould challenge the old thoughts. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

There is a notion that says developed countries should avoid encouraging expert workers of developing countries for emigration, because the poorer countries need their professional workers

People nowdays send than talk on text messages more frequently the Phone What are the reasons for this trend? Do the advantages of texting outweigh the disadvantages?