The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

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The line graph compared the proportion of travellers visiting four famous places in Brighton when they went to England.

Overall

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while

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the percentage of tourists to the Pier and Pavilion increased from 1980 to 2010, that for Art Gallery

as well as

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the Festival dropped. In 1980, Pier attracted only 10% of the number of visitors to England, but the proportion for Pavilion was much higher, at about 24%. Between 1980 and 2000, Pier witnessed a significant fluctuation in the data of visitors before growing to 21% in 2010. Meanwhile, the figure for Pavilion reached its peak of 49% in 1995,

then

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dropped considerably to 30%

at the end

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this

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period.

By contrast

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, approximately 20% of tourists who went to the UK visited Art Gallery in 1980,

whereas

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the Festival had the most visitors, which accounted for 30% of the country's travellers. 5 years later, the Art Gallery's figure rocketed to 38%, but

this

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fell sharply to merely 8%, being the least attractive destination among 4 attractions in 2010.

Besides

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, the percentage of people who participated in the Festival, which just declined very modestly by 2%, remained quite stable after the period of 30 years.

thanhthao.081096Sat Mar 04 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

196 words

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The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

Music should not be taught in schools. Instead other subjects such as computer and science should be taught. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some researchers believe that all children need to learn a musical instrument as part of their education. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Internet crime is increasing rapidly as growing numbers of people purchase goods over the internet. What can be done to tackle this problem?

3.Nowadays, people always throw the old things away when they buy new things; whereas in the past, old things were repaired and used again What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects the phenomenon leads to?