IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
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The increasing number of online shops will someday replace the traditional ones.As
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 see,several factors
such
Linking Words
 as
Correct your spelling
economic
economica
Correct your spelling
economic
 instability and being unsure of desirable product's quality would constrain the closure of simple stores with the appearance of apps and sites which are based on selling certain products ,whole
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity is becoming adapted to
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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 goods remotely ,
therefore
Linking Words
 leaving the simple shops with no profit at all.Where the owners of
webstores
Correct your spelling
websites
are benefit
Change the verb form
are benefited
are benefiting
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,the state
along with
Linking Words
 sellers can be affected by the
economica
Correct your spelling
economic
 crisis because of reduction of physical stores means dwindling money from taxes.
For instance
Linking Words
,
closure
Correct article usage
the closure
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 of
shopping
Correct article usage
the shopping
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 centre in Fergana caused by its low demand made poor conditions for both labourers who lost their jobs and the government’s budget which suffered from deficiency.
In addition
Linking Words
,what concerns Individuals,they can
disadvantage
Add a missing verb
be disadvantage
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 as well.As we
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchase
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 things in
common
Correct article usage
a common
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 approach by live contact with them,online retailers are not going to give us
such
Linking Words
opportunity
Correct article usage
an opportunity
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.Usually,the vast majority of
such
Linking Words
 traders are using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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marketing features to
interest
Add an article
the interest
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of
Change preposition
apply
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customers.The bright and juicy picture of an item with a long description below
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 always tenting people to buy it.Frequently,purchasers are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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disappointed as merchandise does not suit
to
Change preposition
apply
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its depiction.
As
Change preposition
For
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example
Add an article
an example
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,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 buying clothes
being
Wrong verb form
is
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 related to luckiness,quite often,
wanted
Correct article usage
the wanted
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 size or colour
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not satisfying for us,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 its return is complicated to implement or even unavailable at all. To wrap up,finding the golden middle between these two types of shops would be the most appropriate decision for shoppers and salesmen mutually,
hence
Linking Words
 each consumer will be able to choose the method he or she
desire
Change the verb form
desires
show examples
Submitted by prostoy.pacan4ek on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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