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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that we succeed in sport do to our inborn talent. Others argue that continues working on oneself is a key success. What do you think?

#people #sport #talent #success
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while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 assume that we succeed in sport
due to
Linking Words
 our inborn
talent
Use synonyms
, others reckon that
continues
Wrong verb form
continuing
show examples
 working on oneself is the key to
success
Use synonyms
, in
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 I will discuss both opinions and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 I will give my own opinion on the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 there are many
people
Use synonyms
 who have inborn talents, and it can help them to succeed,
whereas
Linking Words
 other
people
Use synonyms
 try hard and have to spend so much time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 it, there are
people
Use synonyms
 who have inborn talents and they do not have to spend that time.
on the other hand
Linking Words
 inborn
talent
Use synonyms
 indeed it is not enough,if a
person
Use synonyms
 has that
talent
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 he does not work hard, and does nothing that
talent
Use synonyms
 will never help that
person
Use synonyms
, and he will never
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
, for ,instance if a
person
Use synonyms
 can magnificently play
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chess since childhood, but he does not spend much time for playing and improving it, in the near future he will be unable to play a
chess like
Add a hyphen
chess-like
show examples
 he used to play.
Therefore
Linking Words
 only inborn
talent
Use synonyms
 is not sufficient for
success
Use synonyms
 a
person
Use synonyms
 should always train and improve it and if he does so only in
this
Linking Words
 case he can
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
. in
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 inborn
talent
Use synonyms
 indeed can be helpful,
although
Linking Words
 as far as I am able to judge there is only one way to
success
Use synonyms
 and that way is by working on oneself.
Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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