IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People in many countries do not wear their traditional costume. Some argue that they would forget their history and tradition. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #costume #argue #history #tradition
it is common knowledge that nowadays the majority of
people
 do not wear their traditional costumes. there are many
people
 who assume that not wearing their traditional costume can lead to forgetting their
history
 and tradition. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss both views and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 I will give my own opinion. on the one hand in many countries we can see that
people
 do not wear their national
clothes
, they wear what they long to wear, to be
honest
Add the comma(s)
,honest
show examples
due to
 it, many
people
 can forget their
history
 and
traditions
, we can see many
people
 who do not even know their
history
, and if we ask them some questions related to
history
 they will just say that they have no clue. and from my point of view if a person does not know his own
history
 he can not know its
traditions
.
on the other hand
, it does not matter what
clothes
people
 prefer,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
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 every country has its national
clothes
 but not all
people
 wear that
however
 it does not mean they are forgetting their own
history
 and tradition, they maybe do not feel free in those
clothes
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 me, I do not wear traditional costumes
however
 I know my country's
history
 very well and I indeed adore it,
also
 I know
traditions
 of my country.
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
show examples
 there are
people
 who wear traditional costumes
although
 they do not know anything about their
traditions
 and
history
. In conclusion from my point of view it does not matter what
clothes
people
 prefer to wear, wearing
clothes
 that you desire has nothing to do with forgetting
history
 and tradition
Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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